Divorce Rates are Dropping Except If You are Over 60...

My opinion of this study on divorce...

I recently heard a report on the news that divorces were decreasing in every demographic except those over the age of 60. This surprised me because I don’t see this happening with the friends and family that I associate with. The commentators felt that it was because many people of that age group married younger than we as a society do today, and so they find that they have less in common when they do have time to get to know each other.

Well, I want to give my opinion based on my experiences with friends and family that I know.

Almost three years ago, my husband was forced to switch jobs. Before he was out of work, I had a very structured life that I had shaped for myself. I NEED a regular schedule or I do not function well. The first 6 weeks that he was home, I was feeling very “invaded” as far as my schedule and daily life. I sometimes felt that he expected me to work my schedule around his now that he was home, even though we both knew it was only temporary. I really felt that our future goals of serving missions for our church together were not going to be possible because he was driving me crazy always being around! But after that first 6 weeks we began getting in sync with each other. By the end of the 7 months when he started the new job, I was surprised by how much I missed having him around. It again took about 6 weeks for me to get back to the old schedule and before I stopped missing having him around all the time.

Now from this personal experience, and seeing friends and family that have gone through the stage of retirement, I have seen that the difference between those who make the transition smoothly or not depends on the goals a couple has both together and as individuals.

Before we ever marry, I think it is important that we should know what the goals are in the life of a perspective spouse. Not just the short-term goals like college, and family etc., but the mid and long range goals also. If you have no goals as a couple past the time of raising a family, then when that family has gone, what is the plan? What if his goals don’t match yours? If you have not been working throughout your marriage towards those long range goals, it is easy to see how couples drift apart due to separate interests. If one partner sees their golden years as a time to relax and golf, or travel, or whatever, and the other partners sees it as time to do community or volunteer work, or spend time with grandkids, or whatever, then it can easily happen that you are living separate lives. Especially if you each do what you envisioned your golden years to be you will eventually drift apart.

I have seen many couples grow closer together by spending time together doing things like travel, activities, volunteer work either in the community or church, and also by having separate interests also. I think having the separate interests are important so you have something to talk about together at the end of the day. The one thing that I have witnessed that is the most important activity is the service that older people can give. They have the wisdom and experience to share talents in so many ways, that it benefits everyone they are around.

So my advice, and I am taking it myself, is to strengthen your marriage after 60, find mutual interests, and in particular, to serve together whether in your community or your church or wherever!

At least that is my opinion!

Propably the Greatest invention EVER!!!

I found the greatest gadget!

I was recently shopping for some luggage and “stuff” for an upcoming trip and I found something that I have been wishing was available for many years! It is a water proof pouch for my ipod so I can listen to my music or books while swimming laps in the pool.

This product is really amazing. I LOVE swimming laps, and now that it is summer in Arizona it is really the only fun way to exercise. But is can also get monotonous just going back and forth for 30-60 minutes. Now with the Water Seals (by Lewis and Clark), it is never boring!

I can listen to anything from Billy Joel, Abba,

any of my Bollywood soundtracks to books!

Talk about multi-tasking!!! I haven’t had any problems with leaking either. It really is a tight seal.

I paid $17.99 plus tax at the retail store but I found them for less on the internet at:   www.stopoverstore.com/product/detail.cfm/pnid/594/pnid2/595/nid/948/pid/2250  

I’m sure there are other sites that sell it also just do an internet search.

This is a fantastic product!!!

A New Movie and a Great Interview with Aishwarya Rai Bachchan

I suggest that if you can find the movie "Raajneeti" playing in a theater near you you should check it out! 

It has an amazing cast if you are familiar with Indian cinema but if you are not, you will still find it entertaining.  I will warn you that it is quite violent but the ending is very satisfying.  I wouldn't say "happy", but  yes, VERY SATISFYING!!!

It follows a political party in one of the states in India and the power play between family members to get control of the party.  Several performances are standout performances including Ranbir Kapoor, Ajay Devgan, and Arjun Rampal (will he ever be a "good guy" in a movie?) and finally Katrina Kaif who is great!

It was slightly confusing in the beginning but eventually I was able to figure out who was on which side and the relationships to each other. 

Check out this movie if you can find it!!!

Next, my friend, Caroline, sent me this link to an interview with one of my favorite actresses, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.  It is a great interview and I think you should see how classy this woman is!  Here it is and ENJOY!!!

She is so beautiful!

A Movie Review...Better Late than Never!

While my parents were visiting a couple of weeks ago for my son’s High School graduation, we took the time one evening to watch “Invictus”, starring Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon .

I felt it gave you a really good background as to what the politics and the mood of the country of South Africa might have been at the time when Nelson Mandela had become President of the country. I also felt that he really loved his country more than the power of his office of President. That is a rare quality in a politician.

Morgan Freeman was amazing in this part.  He really is one of the greatest actors of our time.  Matt Damon was also very good and I thought he did fine on the South African accent.  The cinematography and script showed the disparity between the different races and it was drastic! I guess I can credit my parents for helping me learn at an early age that race doesn’t matter, but who you are inside and what you work for is what is important. Because of being raised this way, I still really have a hard time understanding the reasoning behind the inequalities around the world in the name of race.

I do wish that the movie would have explained a little better about the game of Rugby. If you go in knowing practically nothing about the game, you leave with the same amount of knowledge. Most “sport” type movies do help you understand the basics of the game they are dealing with as the movie progresses, and this one did not. I do think that this is the toughest game out there. It is rougher that American football and they play it without all the padding. They are REAL men that play this!!!

I do understand that it is not the game that was important, but the need for Mandela to unite the Country behind a common cause, but it would have been fun to learn a little of how the game works. I did not really understand the title either until I found out that it came from a poem that I later found and it is a very inspirational poem. It is by William Ernst Henley:

Invictus


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.


Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

What a great “creed” to live by.
Check out the movie if you haven’t already.

Take my Picture....Please!!!

I JUST DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?

In our state we have had to deal with red light and speeding cameras for many years. I have, and members of my family have had the delight of receiving a picture in the mail taken by them more times than I want to remember.

 I don’t really understand why some people want to get rid of them. I would much rather have the police use their time on the important crimes than on trying to clock speeders. I understand that one argument against them is that they are only in it for the revenue. But money is what makes people act! I still am very cautious since receiving a ticket several years ago because I hated parting with the money for the ticket.

If getting rid of the cameras means that fewer police with be working on the really serious crimes and patrolling our streets, I think we should keep them. If my argument is wrong, please try and convince me otherwise.

If There is a Piece of Heaven on Earth it is HERE!!

Last month when we were in Seattle, Bruce and I had the opportunity to take a ferry, “The Victoria Clipper”, from Seattle up to Vancouver Island, BC, and stay in Victoria for a couple of days. While there, we visited many of the Cities beautiful sites but the highlight was the amazing Butchart Gardens (pro.-BOO –chart). I have been told by numerous friends and family that I needed to see them due to my love of gardening and we finally had the chance.

First off, I thought there wouldn’t be much to see in Canada in May, but this island has an amazing eco-system. Due to the fact that the island is cut in half by a huge mountain range, the southern part of the island has a Mediterranean climate. The northern half has a very cold and wet climate. Because of this distinction, everything was blooming and beautiful except the roses.

In 1904 Robert Butchart relocated his family to Vancouver Island where he had a limestone quarry for his business he started, the Portland Cement Company. Butchart Garden was started in the early part of the 20th century and was the idea of Jennie Butchart.

As Robert exhausted the quarry, Jennie had the vision of turning the pit into a beautiful garden. She brought in top soil and slowly the first section of what we see today was created. This spectacular part of the garden is called the “Sunken Garden” and it is breathtaking!

The Sunken Garden had paths to meander through, fountains, and ponds. Every direction you looked it was a feast for your eyes!

By 1908, reflecting on their travels, the Butchart’s next planted a Japanese Garden on the sea-side part of their property. Next came the Italian Garden with a star pond, and last, they created the Rose Garden.

Mr. Robert Butchart was so proud of his wife’s creation, and he collected ornamental birds that he put in the gardens, along with decorative bird houses. The family also started collecting various statues from their travels that have been added to the gardens over the years.

By the 1920’s, the word was spreading about the Garden and over 50,000 visitors came every year. Today, over a million visitors come to enjoy the Gardens. Each year over 1,000,000 bedding plants in some 700 varieties are used throughout the Gardens to ensure uninterrupted bloom from March through October.

Now they can enjoy not only the floral beauty, but the entertainment and lighting displays presented each summer and Christmas.

You can visit the Gardens anytime year round as they plant new plants each season. The Garden is still owned and run by the family as a private business. It is an amazing place, in a beautiful location. I recommend you visit as soon as possible!

It also hade the GREATEST gift shop EVER!!!  That is always a treat!